Divorce after 60: the questions that come up first

A divorce at 30 and a divorce at 63 are different animals. The marriage may have lasted decades. The money is no longer a long climb ahead; most of it is already there, and the question becomes how to divide it and still live on it. Gary Stamper has presented on this subject, under the title "Dissolution Issues with 60+ Years - The Baby Boomer Divorce." These are the questions that tend to come up.

Retirement accounts and pensions

For many couples past 60, retirement savings are the largest asset after the house. Pensions, workplace plans, IRAs, and Social Security each work differently, and dividing them takes more than splitting the totals in half. Some accounts need special paperwork to be divided properly. Taxes matter too: a dollar in a retirement account is not worth the same as a dollar in a savings account, because of what you will owe when you take it out.

Gather statements for every account, including old employer plans that people forget about. Missouri has its own rules on how these assets are treated in a divorce, so ask how they apply to your marriage rather than relying on what a friend was told.

The house

The home is often the one asset with both money and memory attached. Does either spouse want to keep it? Can one person afford the taxes, insurance, and upkeep on one income? Is there a mortgage or a home equity loan? Would selling and dividing the proceeds work better for both of you?

In mid-Missouri, a home may sit on acreage, or a family farm or small business may be tied up with it. That adds layers. Land that has been in a family for generations raises questions about what belongs to whom, and those questions deserve careful attention early, not at the last minute.

Health coverage

Health insurance is a worry for many people at this stage. Coverage that came through one spouse's employer or retirement plan may end with the divorce, and a spouse who is not yet old enough for Medicare may face a gap. Ask early what coverage each of you will have afterward and what it will cost. Ongoing conditions and the possibility of long-term care belong in the conversation, even though they are uncomfortable to raise.

Support and daily budgets

When one spouse has been the main earner and the other has been at home or earned less, the question of support for the lower-earning spouse comes up. Age, health, work history, and the length of the marriage all matter. So does the plain arithmetic: two households cost more than one, and retirement income was planned for one.

A rough monthly budget for each household is one of the most useful things to bring to a first meeting. It turns abstract worries into numbers a lawyer can work with.

Adult children and grandchildren

Custody is usually off the table, but adult children are still part of the picture. They may feel pulled between their parents. They may be named in your estate papers, may have co-signed a loan, or may work in the family business. Time with grandchildren is also a real concern for many people, especially around holidays and family gatherings. It helps to think ahead about how you want to handle those moments, and how you will tell your children.

Wills, beneficiaries, and what changes afterward

A divorce does not always rewrite everything on its own. Beneficiary designations on life insurance and retirement accounts, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and health care directives may still name your former spouse. Review each one once the divorce is final, and ask your lawyer which should be updated and when. Skip Walther handles estate planning at the same firm, so the family law and estate sides of the question can be coordinated.

What to gather before you start

• Statements for every bank, investment, and retirement account.
• Deeds, mortgage statements, and any loans against property.
• Pension and Social Security information for both spouses.
• Life, health, and long-term care insurance papers.
• The last few years of tax returns.
• A list of debts and monthly bills.
• A rough monthly budget for the household as it runs now.
• Copies of any wills, trusts, and powers of attorney.

You do not need all of this before you call. A lawyer can tell you which items matter most and help you get the rest. The point is to begin with a clear picture instead of a guess.

Gary Stamper handles divorce and family law at Walther, Antel & Stamper. To talk about a divorce later in life, call the office at (573) 442-2454, Monday through Friday. Reading this article does not create an attorney-client relationship.